


Beautiful Disaster

by BeneaththeHalo



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Curse Breaking, Dubious Consent, F/F, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-06
Updated: 2014-10-06
Packaged: 2018-02-20 02:12:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2411162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeneaththeHalo/pseuds/BeneaththeHalo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin would take a curse or drink poison for Arthur a thousand times over, if it meant the king would be okay. Even though the consequences can sometimes be terrible.</p>
<p>But even the darkest of clouds can have a silver lining.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beautiful Disaster

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Loveliest Distance](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1435636) by [Val_Creative](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Val_Creative/pseuds/Val_Creative). 



> The most massive of thanks to darling Rie, the author of the original fic I got the idea for this one from, for allowing me to write this fic in the first place. You're a star! <3

"That is the _last_ time I drink from a poisoned goblet for you, Arthur," Merlin groans as he comes to, rubbing his aching head.

"Merlin!" a voice cries, one he later identifies as Gwaine. Everyone's gathered around him- the knights, Queen Guinevere, and even- yes, there's Arthur, standing back behind the others with folded arms, but looking perhaps even more concerned than all of them combined.

Just as Merlin looks around for him Gaius bustles forward, pressing some sort of potion into his patient's hands. "Drink this," he says. "It will help with the headache I'm sure you have."

Merlin does as commanded, but struggles not to spit the medicine back out again. When he's certain that he will keep it down, he says, "What _was_ she? The woman?"

"Some sort of sorcerer, no doubt," says Arthur, treating the word with derision. Merlin just glares at him, and the king looks away. "Sorry." He forgets sometimes, in moments like this when Merlin nearly dies for him again, who his best friend really is.

"I don't know what she was," Gaius admits, when the moment passes. "But I don't think she was human. That would be the only reason you couldn't feel her power, Merlin."

"Hmm. Wait, what do you mean, _was_?"

"I killed her," Gwaine speaks up, startling Merlin. "The moment you fell to the ground, I killed her."

"But why?"

"Because I thought she had killed you."

The room falls silent after this, as if thinking about just how close Merlin has come to death.

Then Gaius speaks up again. "You need to give Merlin some space. He needs to rest, to recover. He may _appear_ to be fine, but whatever the poison was will have taken a lot out of him."

They all hesitate, but one disapproving eyebrow from Gaius has even the king leaving the room. Only Gwaine lingers, but Merlin gives him a reassuring smile as Gaius goes to shoo him from the room.

***

That night passes without incident. Merlin sleeps right through, exhausted as Gaius said from the poison, albeit with strange dreams. He dreams of touching, of wanting, of burning, of feeling and being different. It is all flashes, though, and he remembers nothing when he wakes except for the fact he dreamt at all.

Merlin would've loved a day off, except he knew that Arthur would never give one to him. Sure enough, the rest of the day finds him doing his chores as usual, Arthur ribbing him, even if he does watch Merlin cautiously for any signs of ill effects from the poison.

That night, though, Merlin finds himself in pain. Something is _wrong_ , definitely wrong, he knows as he writhes about in bed. He feels like he's trapped in a fire, burning. He can feel his bones twisting, grinding, changing their shape, like they're being squeezed and it _hurts_.

Merlin bites his lips, trying not to cry out. The burning pushes through him, filling his entire body. He writhes on his bed, pushing his blanket away, trying to chase away the burning and the pain. He can't get rid of it, though, and it just gets _worse_ , filling more and more of him. It even fills his prick, he realises as it swells and burns and leaks fluid.

And then it disappears.

Sure he's dreaming now, Merlin mutters an incantation to create light, he pulls his pants down, searching frantically, but there's nothing there. Nothing.

His prick is _gone_ , Merlin realises as he reaches down his pants. His fingers find, though warm, wet lips... too sensitive. Too _female._

_"No_ ," Merlin whispers, even as he is suddenly overcome with the urge to reach inside this new entrance and fill and stroke himself. He fights against it, though, twisting and turning as if to fight it away. At the same time he presses himself into the bed, both trying to rid himself of this awful feeling and to avoid the weight of what he knows to be breasts.

Merlin pinches his arm, hoping to be dreaming, but nothing changes and he does not wake from his nightmare. Instead he squeezes his eyes shut tight, pretending this isn't happening, and cries.

***

When Merlin wakes the next morning, he is almost elated to find that he is himself again. He immediately takes himself in hand, stroking until completion, finding the release he did not allow himself the night before.

He stares down at himself, definitely flat chested and definitely with a dick. _That woman must have done this to me_ , he realises. He knows not what she was, nor how to lift her magic. He can only hope the spell has now gone.

Merlin is beyond exhausted that day, and he has to use his magic to complete his chores, lest he collapse. Arthur is ribbing him again, but observing him with obvious concern. He knows something is wrong with Merlin, and he voices this, but Merlin brushes him away.

"I'm fine," he says quietly, and then, louder and with a smile, he says it again.

"I'm fine."

***

Unfortunately, Merlin is _wrong_. As soon as night falls upon the kingdom, and the shadows creep into his room, he feels the squeezing of his bones and the _burning_ , and he knows it is happening again. Sure enough, his body is soon changed into a woman's one, and he is nearly overcome with the urge to ram his fingers inside himself, to pound and touch and _fill_. The urge is near uncontrollable, and Merlin bites his lip as he stifles a cry.

Even his lips are softer, Merlin realises, and slimmer and daintier. He's glad he can't see himself right now; he doesn't think he'd be able to take it.

The friction of his clothes upon his skin quickly becomes too much for Merlin- everything feels far, far too sensitive, and every little movement stokes the fire burning within him. Sweat coats his entire body, and his hair is sticking to his head. He's too uncomfortable, and he can't take this anymore. He quickly sheds his clothes and undergarments, until he is lying completely naked. He can see his incredibly ample breasts now, and he cannot help but massage them with his long fingers, kneading them and thumbing at his nipples. It offers him little respite, instead making that terrible heat burn even stronger.

Fluid leaks from Merlin's opening and onto his thighs. He yearns to touch, to reach inside and stroke until the wetness inside of him floods out, but he just cannot do it. It feels like it would make this more _real_ , more horrible some how, if Merlin were to touch himself in that way. And at the same time, Merlin knows it would not work.

As he continues to touch and massage his breasts, trying to find _some_ relief, a pained whimper escapes his lips. Not long after this, he hears a voice at the closed door to his room. "Merlin?"

It's Gaius. He's heard Merlin's cries, his noises of pain. "Merlin? Are you alright?"

"I- I'm fine, Gaius!" he manages to get out, before clamping his mouth shut to hold back his anguished cries.

"Are you sure? I could give you something to help..."

Merlin shakes his head against the pillow, silently begging Gaius to go away. "I'm fine," he says again, all he can manage to get out. He presses his body into his bed, pushing into it, up and down, trying to rid himself of the pain.

There is silence outside the room. Merlin can do nothing but continue to press into the bed and pray that Gaius will not enter. Finally, Gaius speaks again. "You know where I'll be if you need anything," he says, and then Merlin hears his footsteps fade away.

Merlin has been so busy trying to get Gaius to leave, he has not noticed that he is touching his entrance with one hand. He jerks his hand away as if bitten, even as his body yearns for him to touch even more. He can't do it, though. Some part of him knows it will just make things worse. He desperately needs to find some way to break this curse, but he doesn't even know where to start.

***

When Merlin gets cornered by both Arthur and Gwaine three days later, he knows it will be difficult to explain his way out of this. He has searched for a cure to this curse every day, but he has not even come close to finding something. Still he turns into a woman every night, and still he fills with the burning and the terrible _need_ , but he will not let himself touch. He cannot.

"We know there’s something wrong with you, Merlin," Arthur tells him, as Merlin studiously ignores them, focusing instead on polishing Arthur's armour. "Don't try denying it. You're not very good at keeping secrets."

"I hid my magic from you for years, didn't I?" Merlin points out without turning around, and he knows Arthur has no answer.

"This started when you drank that poison," Gwaine tries. "Does it still affect you?"

"I'm not poisoned," Merlin says, which is true. Being poisoned wouldn't be as bad as what he is going through.

"There is _still_ something wrong," Gwaine insists, and Merlin knows that even his best efforts won't make them let this go. But he cannot tell them. No one can find out about his curse, least of all Gwaine and Arthur.

"I haven't been sleeping," Merlin admits, deciding that a confession of some kind may at least placate the two men somewhat. He isn't lying, after all. And they don't need to know _why_ he isn't sleeping.

"Has Gaius given you anything?" Arthur asks.

Merlin shakes his head. "It wouldn't help." The two knights look skeptical, and Merlin knows he needs to get out of here before they force the truth out of him. "Here's your armour, Arthur." He thrusts the armour into the king's hands, leaving before either of them can call him back.

Not long after the twisting and squeezing of his bones and his body and the beginning of the burning within him, Merlin can hear Arthur and Gwaine outside of his room. He counts his lucky stars Gaius is away, having been called to a far off village to treat an illness. He tries to remain silent, even as fluid leaks onto his thighs and his body aches to be touched and filled and _pounded_ into. He's aware enough to use magic to lock his door, ensuring that Arthur and Gwaine cannot gain entry.

It doesn't stop them from trying, though.

"Merlin, let us in!" Arthur cries, pounding on the door. "Let us help you!"

Merlin refuses to open his mouth, lest the moans and whines and pleas that he's holding back escape. He yearns to call out to Arthur and Gwaine, to let them in and to let them touch him and fuck him, but he knows he can't. That is wrong and he _can't._ It's the curse that wants that, this blasted female body, and Merlin will not let it win.

Merlin cannot remember doing it, but suddenly he finds himself naked and nearly humping his bed, pushing himself into it aggressively and repeatedly. A whimper escapes his lips, one he cannot hold back, and he knows Arthur and Gwaine have heard. He only help they interpret the sound as one borne of pain and not need.

When Gwaine spoke, his voice was a lot more quiet and a lot more pleading. "Please, Merlin," he says. "We can't stand to hear you in so much pain and not be able to help you. _Please_ let us in."

Merlin has never heard the two of them so worried about him before, and part of him wants to let them in. But he can't. He just _can't_. It would be so humiliating and degrading, for them to see him like this. "I can't," he says, another whimper escaping along with his words.

"Damn it, Merlin, let us in!" Arthur cries, banging on Merlin's door with both fists. Arthur is strong, but Merlin's magic is stronger, and the king cannot break through. Merlin knows that Arthur and Gwaine will wait outside his room all night if they have to, but that is not enough to sway him.

Trying to ignore the two men outside his room, Merlin bites his lip to stop anymore noise from escaping and presses himself into his bed, moving up and down to create friction on his lady parts. It's not enough, though. It will never be enough.

***

When Merlin emerges from his room the next morning, having not slept at all, he finds Arthur and Gwaine slumped on the floor, both asleep. He tries to sneak past them, but accidentally kicks Arthur and the king jerks awake, his eyes falling on Merlin, completely male but struggling to stay awake. "Merlin!" he exclaims, his cry enough to wake Gwaine. Merlin tries to sneak past them again, but the two knights are strong and Merlin has no energy left, and they trap him.

"Please, Merlin, tell us what's going on," Arthur begs. "You've been like this ever since you drank that poison, and it's all my fault."

"It's not your fault," Merlin insists, and he's not lying. He doesn't blame Arthur in the slightest. It's that _woman's_ fault, and he would drink poison for Arthur a hundred times if it ensured the king's safety. If there  is any silver lining in this, he thinks, it's that Arthur doesn't have to go through this. "Can I go do my work now?"

"Are you going to tell us what's going on?" Gwaine asks, both men blocking Merlin's way.

"No." Merlin's eyes glow dangerously; he's not above using magic to get Arthur and Gwaine out of his way. "It's my problem, and _I'm_ going to deal with it. I don't need help."

"It certainly seems like you do," Gwaine says.

"Well, I don't," Merlin says, and before either man can say anything, Merlin pushes past them and disappears.

***

Merlin knows he'll be in trouble that night. Arthur and Gwaine will not give up, he knows. They're both relentless, especially when it comes to Merlin. They will try to get into Merlin's room, or corner him somewhere where he won't be able to escape before it's too late. He has a plan, though.

Merlin finishes his chores in record time that day, of course using his magic to assist him. (Arthur and Gaius hated it when he did that, but what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them.) Before anyone can find him, before Arthur and Gwaine can corner him, he sneaks out of the castle. It is not yet dark, because otherwise Merlin's body will change before he gets away, and so he has to be careful that nobody sees him flee. He doesn't bother getting a horse from the stables; it's a complete waste of time, and he risks being seen by someone who will surely tell Arthur.

Instead when the coast is clear Merlin runs, fleeing through the gates with a hooded cloak to conceal his identity. He has no idea where he is running to, only that he must get far, far away from here tonight.

He is still in the forest when he can see the sun begin to descend, and his heartbeat grows rapid with fear. It's too soon; he's not far enough away yet. It's _too soon_.

Merlin has just passed under a rather large tree branch when the first wave of heat slams into him. He manages to stay on his feet, still stumbling through the forest, even as his body _burns_. He curls his hands into fists, trying to fight off the pain and the change that he knows is coming. It is no use, though.

His bones feel like they've been trapped in a vice, and as his entire body _screams_ in pain, Merlin lets out an agonised cry. His body is squeezing, squeezing and burning, and he cannot continue any further. He manages one more step, before falling to the forest floor.

***

Arthur and Gwaine, of course, go looking for Merlin before he would normally have finished his chores, but he is nowhere to be found. They ask anyone who could possibly know where Merlin is- other servants, the knights, Gwen, and even Morgana- but none of them have seen him. He must have fled, they realise, fled before they had a chance to find him. They ask around the castle, but Merlin has been careful, and no one has seen him leave. He's not in Camelot, though, they know this much.

Pausing only long enough to collect horses, Arthur and Gwaine take off after Merlin. Merlin has obviously been hurrying, trying to get as far away as possible from Camelot as quickly as he can, and so he hasn't covered up his tracks. Gwaine and Arthur can see exactly where Merlin has been, and so it's see for them to follow him. Merlin obviously hasn't taken a horse with him, because the path he has left is getting fresher and fresher, and Arthur and Gwaine are gaining on him.

As they ride, their worry rising the farther they get from Camelot, they realise they can hear something up ahead. It's someone moaning in pain, struggling to move, and after a few moments they realise it's Merlin.

Arthur looks at Gwaine, both men wearing panicked looks, before spurring their horses on even faster. Then Merlin _cries out_ in agony, and the next thing they hear is Merlin falling to the ground. Abandoning their horses, they run towards the sound without a second thought.

Arthur reaches Merlin first, and drops to his knees beside his manservant. "Merlin?" he says, worried, as Gwaine hovers in the background behind him. "Merlin, can you hear me?"

"Leave me," Merlin manages to get out, as he tries to pull himself away from Arthur. He doesn't have enough energy to fight, though, and Arthur holds him still.

"We need to get him out of here," Arthur says, as he turns to face Gwaine. "We need to find some shelter."

"No, please," Merlin groans, but the two knights pay him no heed.

"There's a cave not too far from here," Gwaine suggests, half reaching out to Merlin with one hand as he does so, wanting to help him but not knowing how. "It's not far away. We'll get him there in no time at all."

Arthur lifts Merlin easily into his arms, cradling him against his chest even as Merlin tries to fight against his grip. "Please, Arthur," he begs. "Don't... leave me, please."

"Don't be ridiculous, Merlin," Arthur scoffs, even as he sets off with Gwaine right on his heels. "You know I never listen to you."

Merlin does know. He only wishes that tonight was the one time Arthur would do the exact opposite. Before he can beg Arthur again his body burns red hot and he cries out in anguish. "Merlin!" Arthur cries, nearly dropping the warlock as he squirms. He turns to Gwaine, panicking. "He's burning."

Merlin _is_ burning, and all he wants is for Arthur to put him down and leave him be. Instead, Gwaine speaks up. "It's okay. We're here."

Merlin is with it enough to register that Arthur is carrying him into a cave, with Gwaine right beside him. Arthur sets him down and Merlin scrambles into a corner, facing away from the both of them. His body feels like it's trapped in a vice again, the squeezing of his body getting worse and _worse_ , and he knows it's happening right now. He can feel it. He _knows_ it.

"Merlin..." Arthur says, dropping down on his knees beside the warlock, trying to turn him over. "Merlin, it's okay. It's just me and Gwaine. You can trust us."

" _No_ ," Merlin hisses. He has his arms crossed over his chest, so they cannot see. He can never let them see.

Arthur and Gwaine are far stronger than Merlin, though, and Merlin's own fortitude was diminished by trying to fight away the fire and the _need_ that had been burning every night. While Arthur holds onto Merlin, Gwaine pulls up Merlin's shirt, and he can tell by their shocked gasps that they've seen.

"Oh. Oh _Merlin_..." Gwaine breathes, and Merlin can hear the pity in his voice.

"You're a woman," Arthur says, only because he can't believe what he is seeing.

"Only at night..." Merlin whispers, writhing in Arthur and Gwaine's arms. "Only while the sun is down."

"Is this what that poison did to you?" Arthur asks, and Merlin cannot bare the _guilt_ in his voice. "Is this the price you've had to pay for saving me again?"

"It's- it's worth it," says Merlin, even as he lets out a moan borne of both pain and need. Arthur and Gwaine are still touching him, and he can't help but nudge into their hands, the sensation being the first relief he's had since this happened.

"You're in pain, Merlin," Arthur says almost angrily, and Merlin know that anger is directed towards him. Arthur _hates_ it when Merlin is in pain because of him, especially when he doesn't say anything about it. "You're in pain, and it's my fault."

Arthur is right about the pain, though. Merlin's body is burning, and it _hurts_. "Please... please don't tell anyone," he begs, squeezing his eyes shut, unable to bear the looks on Merlin and Gwaine's faces anymore. "Please don't take me back to Camelot like this."

"Who do you think we are, Merlin?" Gwaine scoffs. "We're not the serving maids of Camelot. We know how to keep a secret. And besides, we care about you. You know we do." Gwaine moves his hand to caress Merlin's cheek almost lovingly, and Merlin leans into the touch, nudging Gwaine's hand.

Merlin doesn't notice Arthur and Gwaine exchange looks; he loses himself to his fervor for the briefest of moments, and finds himself without his trousers or his breeches. Completely naked now from the waist down, Merlin unconsciously rubs himself against the rocky cave floor, but it offers him little respite. Merlin trembles, and Gwaine moved to stroke his hair as Arthur rolls Merlin onto his back.

Merlin's face is scrunched up in pain, and he groans as he continues to move. Arthur and Gwaine can see his expression perfectly, now, and they know what his body so desperately craves. "You need release, Merlin," Arthur says. "You need to release yourself."

" _Can't_ ," Merlin says pitifully, almost mournfully. "I _can't_."

"Don't be like that _Mer_ lin," Arthur admonishes, stroking Merlin's arm with a featherlight touch. "You're in pain- you _must_. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"No, I mean- oh _gods_!" Merlin burns white-hot, and he flails in Arthur and Gwaine's arms. "It's too _hot_ , it doesn't _help_..."

Arthur and Gwaine exchange looks once more. Arthur doesn't even bother holding down Merlin anymore; they've already seen him, and it's too late to hide. "Let us help you, then," Arthur suggests, running his fingers up and down Merlin's thighs, sending a tingle through Merlin's body. Arthur eases Merlin's slender legs apart, and while Merlin is trying to fight against him, he's also not because he _wants_ this.

"Arthur... Arthur, you _can't_..." Merlin groans, even as his hips buck up into Arthur's touch.

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do, Merlin," says Arthur. "I want to help you." Gwaine clears his throat, and Arthur amends. " _We_ want to help you. You can tell me that you don't want this. That you don't _need_ this."

"But- but Gwen-" Merlin pants.

Arthur scoffs. "Please, Merlin. You think I don't know where Gwen goes at night? You think I don't know that she shares my sister's bed? Ours is not a marriage borne of romantic love." Gwaine smirks at this, a hand caressing Arthur's arm, and Merlin realises who it really is that shares Arthur's bed at night.

"You're safe with us, Merlin," Gwaine promises, pressing his rough lips to Merlin's forehead. "We won't hurt you. We _want_ to do this." When Merlin doesn't respond, and instead bucks up into Arthur's hands again, Gwaine eases Merlin's shirt up over his head. "If you want us to stop, say something." Merlin says nothing again, instead hissing as the cold night air touches his breasts. Gwaine grins, before thumbing one of Merlin's nipples, eliciting pleasured noises from the warlock. "Better?"

"Yes, Gwaine, _gods-_ " Merlin is cut off when Arthur begins pressing kisses up his thigh, and the moan that escapes his hips is not one of anguish but of _want_. He wants more. He _needs_ more. Arthur smiles against Merlin's thigh, before nudging Gwaine with his elbow. Gwaine leans in and sucks on Merlin's neck, and Merlin scrabbles his fingers against the cave floor, trying to find something to hold in to.

Arthur chuckles, and Gwaine smirks, before he bites down _hard_ on that same spot on Merlin’s neck. Merlin cries out in pain, but it’s a _good_ pain, and he reaches up to hold Gwaine in place so he doesn’t let go because he _likes it_. "Fuck..." This is good, so good, but he wants more. He _needs_ more. "It still _burns_ , I can't..."

"Hush, Merlin. We'll look after you," Arthur whispers from near Merlin's thighs, before he uses his finger to start exploring Merlin's opening. Merlin tenses, his muscles clenching, trying to hold Arthur inside. Arthur grins up at him. "You okay? Is this okay?"

"Yes, yes, Arthur, _gods_!" Merlin has forgotten Gwaine is still behind him, until the knight reaches around and begins tweaking Merlin's nipples again, this time both at once. Merlin arches his body up to allow Arthur better access, as the king inserts a second finger and then a third. Merlin rocks shamelessly onto Arthur's fingers exploring inside him, quelling the fire. He seems to know exactly where to touch, and Merlin buries his face in Gwaine's hair as he mutters incoherent pleas.

Something just isn't right, though. Merlin continues to rock onto Arthur's fingers, harder and faster, keeping up to the king's pace, but it isn't _enough_. He needs more.

Merlin moans in want, but they don't understand. "You're okay, Merlin," Gwaine whispers in his ear, but Merlin shakes his head.

Arthur slows, and then stops, and Merlin whimpers. "No, don't..."

"Then what is it?" Arthur asks. They're both concerned, worried that Merlin's had second thoughts or they've hurt him, and he hates that.

"It's not- it's not enough," Merlin pants, rolling his hips. Arthur's fingers are still inside of him, and he _needs_ him to keep moving. “It still _burns,_ I need more, I need- oh _gods_!” It’s like a pulsing heat inside of him, and now it burns white hot, so painful that Merlin clenches his muscles, as if to somehow push the pain away. "You're not hurting me," Merlin insists, because Arthur and Gwaine still aren't moving again. "It's just not- I need-" Merlin cannot get the words out, such is his anguish, but now Gwaine and Arthur understand.

"It's not _relieving_ you, is it?" Arthur realises, a hand on Merlin’s thigh, his fingers motionless inside the warlock. Merlin rocks back and forth, not even realising he’s moving, as he seeks relief from Arthur. “Just my fingers aren’t enough.”

Merlin shakes his head, moaning, squeezing his eyes shut against the fire. "Would _my_ fingers help?" Gwaine asks, teasing and gentle all at once.

Merlin tenses, whining, still rocking against Arthur's fingers like he can't control himself. And he _can't_ control himself. He needs this so desperately, has needed it since he was first cursed, and he's not going to stop until he's finally found _relief._

"Maybe," Merlin finally pants. "But I don't think so. I need _more._ More than just _fingers..._ "

The identical smiles that cross Arthur and Gwaine's faces, smiles of pure _desire_ that set Merlin to burning all over again, tell the warlock that they've understood. He watches, unable to tear his eyes away as both men undo their belts, shedding their trousers and their breeches. _"Please_..." Merlin begs. He needs this _now_. He needs the fire _gone._

Merlin's body still yearns to be filled and stretched and pounded into, and it knows that is close now. Still he is unprepared for how he reacts as Arthur eases into him, as if he fears that he may break Merlin. Merlin throws his head back, pushing into Gwaine as if he wants to meld their bodies together. Pleas for _more_ escape his mouth, almost nonsensical, but Arthur and Gwaine know what he wants. Arthur moves _inside_ of him, backwards and forwards, even as Gwaine's hands tighten around his breasts.

"Gwaine," Merlin pants, clenching Gwaine's wrists, holding his hands in place. "Need- I need-"

"Hush, Merlin," Gwaine whispers, pressing his rough lips to Merlin's neck. "I'm here. I'm right here, I promise."

Merlin nearly comes as soon as Gwaine enters him, that is how strong his pleasure is. But instead he manages to hold on, rocking his hips onto Arthur and Gwaine's cocks, his voice escaping him in breathy moans and gasps. The two knights touch him, sooth him, and whisper his name, as they quell the fire that has been burning within him for so long.

Finally, that _perfect, perfect, perfect_ feeling of the two of them driving themselves into Merlin causes that seemingly unyielding pressure to flood out of him, like a wave of pure _ecstasy_ , wetting his thighs and the ground beneath him _._ He tries to hold onto that feeling, unlike anything he's ever felt before, his walls clenching around the two cocks. Gwaine and Arthur slow their movements, easing Merlin through the remnants of his orgasm, until the warlock finally stills in their arms.

Gwaine and Arthur are sweating nearly as much as Merlin is, both of them panting as they ease out of him, and he dimly watches them as they grin over him.

"You're alright now, Merlin," Arthur whispers gently, brushing bangs of damp hair out of Merlin's eyes. "You're safe. Sleep now, my dear."

And sleep Merlin does, peacefully and willingly, to the sound of Arthur and Gwaine whisper to each other as they gently stroke his skin.

***

Merlin wakes the next morning still in Arthur and Gwaine's arms with a blanket over them, the two men awake and watching him.

Gwaine is the first to speak. "Are you okay?" he asks, his voice and face gentle.

Merlin nods. “I am,” he says, and he means it, too. This was the best night’s sleep he’s had in… well, since he drank that poison for Arthur.

Gwaine and Arthur still haven’t let go. The two of them watch Merlin with a strange look in their eyes, as if they’re afraid he’ll crumple in pain and need at any moment. “Really, I’m fine,” Merlin says again, insistently, with a fierceness in his eyes that leaves them with no choice but to believe him. “For now, anyway,” he amends eventually. “But that was the best night’s sleep I’ve had in weeks.”

“Even when you turned back into yourself?” Arthur asks. “You were thrashing about and whimpering.”

“Arthur, most of the time I’ve been _awake_ for that,” Merlin points out, and that’s the end of _that_ discussion.

The three of them sit there in silence. Merlin isn’t quite sure what to do; he wants to go scrambling for his clothes, to cover himself up, but everything Arthur and Gwaine saw and did the night before made that pretty pointless. But still, he is confused when the two don’t move away, and continue to hold him and stroke him. They don’t need to do that, anymore. So why do they continue?

“We should head back to Camelot,” Arthur suggests finally. “People will be wondering where we are, if we’re gone for too long.”

Merlin baulks at that, scrambling back against the cave wall and shaking his head furiously. “No, I- I can’t,” he says, panicking. “What if the curse hasn’t broken? What if I- what if I still _change_ tonight?”

“Go straight to my chambers, before sundown,” Arthur says, on his hands and knees in front of Merlin, trying to be as comforting as possible. “If it happens again, we’ll help you, same as we did last night. Won’t we, Gwaine?”

Gwaine nods, smiling, and Merlin looks between them in confusion. “How can you…?” he begins. No, that’s not right. “You don’t have to do that for me again. Once was enough. I don’t want you to- to feel obligated, or-”

“ _Mer_ lin,” says Arthur in that way of his, shaking his head in exasperation. “We would do that every night for the rest of your life if we had to. Now, let’s leave. Please.”

***

Merlin grows more and more panicked as the day goes on, trying to go about his chores as if nothing happened. Yet he feels sore, and he’s walking with a limp, and more than once he catches Arthur and Gwaine looking at him, with more than just worry in their eyes. There’s lust, there.

Arthur's chambers are deserted when Merlin reaches them. The sun hangs low in the sky, and Merlin knows it will soon be nightfall. He doesn't know where Arthur and Gwaine are, nor how long they'll be. Merlin is left to wait alone.

The sun had been set for an hour by the time Arthur and Gwaine finally return to Arthur's chambers. "Merlin?" Arthur asks cautiously, almost fearing what they'll see as he pushes open the door.

"I'm here," comes Merlin's reply. There is no fear and no pain evident in his voice. And when the two knights enter the room they see Merlin standing there, male and _smiling._

"It broke," he says, and Arthur and Gwaine can't help but smile too. "It actually broke." Merlin has never been so _relieved_ before. And he's never been so grateful.

Merlin steps forward, toward Arthur and Gwaine, magically closing the door with a flash of golden eyes.

Arthur and Gwaine are silent, watching. Waiting. Merlin stops in front of them, reaching out with one hand, running his thumb over Arthur's lower lip. There had been a surprising amount of tenderness the night before, when Arthur and Gwaine had given Merlin the release he so desperately needed, and now he wants to return the favour. He closes the fingers of his other hand around Gwaine's wrist, and the knight stares at them.

Arthur just smiles. His lips part, invitingly, and Merlin meets them with his own. "I never got to thank you for last night. And for breaking the curse," he says.

Maybe there are benefits to drinking poison for Arthur, after all.


End file.
